pelakon terbaik

Di luar hu-ha hu-ha ketawa saja.

Di dalam hati, siapa tahu?

macam mana nak kaya

Tengah sibuk sibuk belajar tentang Linear Regression, ANNOVA, Binary Logistic dan sebagainya tentang statistik, Prof. datang perlahan-lahan menghampiri meja gua. Laju tangan gua tutup window facebook dan buka window SPSS tadi.

Dalam otak tengah kucar kacir nak mencari alasan dan mengalak kena tanya. Gua mula tanya macam macam sebelum Prof tanya gua. Taktik tu taktik.

Gua ubah topik sebab gua tengok Prof pun macam nak lari tajuk saja. Tiba tiba dia tanya asal gua mana. Gua cakap la Lumut. Pehh boleh sama pula kampung halaman! Dia orang Segari. Gua balas balik tanya dia duduk mana sekarang ni. Dia jawab, Bandar Baru Bangi.

"Jangan main main. Bangi tu tempat elit. Sepuluh kali kau ludah, sembilan kena kepala professor. Kiri kanan rumah aku semua profesor."

Kahkahkah. Boleh tahan juga gaya Prof ni bersembang. Nama pun Profesor. Gua kembali ke jalan yang asal. Mendalami ilmu statistik kembali.

Usai sesi Regression, Prof sambung berhujah. Bukan di depan kelas. Tapi di sebelah gua. Pasal saham, Wall Street, bunuh diri, mati muda, eksiden, isra' mikraj, seluar jeans dan macam macam lagi.

"Aku kalau start ceramah tak boleh berhenti."

Gua layankan ceramah Prof ni. Seronok juga kadang kadang melayan idea dan pandangan berbeza ye idak?

Tapi gua tertarik dengan satu benda. Saham. Mata gua auto bling bling bila dengar tentang saham.

"Toksah la dok main saham. Haram tu." Sambil dia sambung dengan hujah hujah yang agak bernas juga.

Gua tak puas hati. Gua nak kaya. Gua nak hidup senang. Lalu gua lontarkan soalan terbaik kepada Prof.

"Then, macam mana nak kaya Prof?"




"Apa susah. Baca ayat seribu dinar. Sekali baca dapat seribu dinar. Kahkahkah!"



***


Prof, you are the best! Calit tangan sikit!

29/10/2010

6.44 am

Ayah : Wake up, wake up wake up 2day 22years 01 day. Sorry not wiah U yeaterday bzs 2 bussy Happy birth day

Translation : Wake up, wake up wake up 2day 22years 01 day. Sorry not wish U yesterday bcs too busy. Happy birthday

Aku : Woke up already and im 22yo and 02 days la...thanx ayah. love you!

***

Banyak benor writing error. Comel.

***

Apasal ibu ayah boleh lupa tarikh lahir anak kesayangan depa tahun ni?

kfc

"Adik, bagi Snack Plate satu."

"Adik, bagi air spicy, ayam stroberi ye."

"Apa kak??"

"..............."

***

Kalau dah salah cakap tu mengaku je lah. Kahkahkah!

26/10/2010

12.19 am

Orman : Happy Birthday darling! :)

Aku : Thanx Orman sayang. U are the 1st one. Awal sehari. Hee :)

Orman : Eh? Alaaaaa...Memang ingat harini..alaaaa :(

Orman memang comel orangnya.

***

7.05 am

Ibu : Akak appy bufday. Nak hadiah apa?

Aku : Esok la bday akak.

Ibu : Ye ke....Sory la. Kat henset ada loceng bunyi bufday akak hehehe

Aku : Tq. Nak hadiah kaya raya.

Ibu : Ok. Kami doakan akak.

Ibu memang pandai buat lawak. Comel.

miskin

Lepas bayar yuran terus jatuh miskin.

Jangan sesiapa ajak makan mahal mahal.

Tsk.

yuran

Patut lah rasa macam banyak duit je.

Terlupa bayar yuran rupanya. Kehkehkeh!

penipu 2

"Hangpa habiskan lah semua. Aku dah kenyang." Sambil tolak rojak mee aku yang dah tinggal separuh kat depa.

"Penipu besar! Kau mana pernah kenyang."

***

Kehkehkeh. Kena lagi.

habit

Kes cium baju terjadi lagi. Kalau pi cium baju sendiri takpa la. Ini baju orang pun nak pi cium sekali pasai apa? Demm!

Bukan sengaja pun. Dah jadi habit..

semangat

Ok. Dah dapat semangat. Baru boleh study. Hiyyaaahh!

if it's love

While everybody else is getting out of bed

I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it

And there's a thousand ways you can skin it

My feet have been on the floor flat like an idle singer

Remember winger, I digress

I confess you are the best thing in my life

But I'm afraid when I hear stories about a husband and wife

There's no happy endings, no Henry Lee

But you are the greatest thing about me

If it's love

And we decide that it's forever

No one else could do it better

If it's love

And we're two birds of a feather

Then the rest is just whenever

And if I'm addicted to loving you

And you're addicted to my love too

We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love

Got to have something to keep us together

Love, love

That's enough for me

Took a loan on a house I own

Can't be a queen bee without a bee throne

I wanna buy you everything except cologne 'cause it's poison

We can travel to Spain where the rain falls

Mainly on the plain side and sing

'Cause it is we can laugh, we can sing

Have ten kids and give them everything

Hold our cell phones up in the air

And just be glad that we made it here alive

On a spinning ball in the middle of space

I love you from your toes to your face

If it's love

And we decide that it's forever

No one else could do it better

If it's love

And we're two birds of a feather

Then the rest is just whenever

And if I'm addicted to loving you

And you're addicted to my love too

We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love

Got to have something to keep us together

Love, love

That's enough for me

You can move in, I won't ask where you've been

'Cause everybody has a past

When we're older we'll do it all over again

When everybody else is getting out of bed

I'm usually getting in it, I'm not in it to win it

I'm in it for you

If it's love

And we're two birds of a feather

Then the rest is just whenever

Then the rest is just whenever

If it's love

And we decide that it's forever

No one else could do it better

And if I'm addicted to loving you

And you're addicted to my love too

We can be them two birds of a feather that flock together

Love, love

Got to have something to keep us together

Love, love

Got to have something to keep us together

Love, love

That's enough for me

***

Jangan la gelak. Bukan selalu nak post benda benda macam ini.

pesanan

Pesanan untuk diri sendiri:

Lain kali bawa sweater kalau pergi tengok movie. Jangan malukan diri sendiri lagi bila tangan menggigil, kaki tak boleh diam serta mulut terketar-ketar tak boleh hendel.

Ha ha!

apa yang pelik

"Kenapa kau terkejut tengok dia salam cium tangan aku?"

Diam. Mata terkebil-kebil lagi.

"Aku bapa mertua dia. Apa yang peliknya?"

Ohh. Baru tersengih.

jahanam

Keypad jammed. Nak tekan nombor 4 tak boleh. Tekan tekan tekan tak boleh juga.

Cuba alternatif lain. Baling ke dinding.

Terus jahanam. Padan muka Si Pandai Sangat! Ha ha.

penipu

"Kau kenapa tak lunch lagi?" Seorang kawan bertanya.


"Saja. Malas."


"Penipu besar!" Balasnya.






Kahkahkah.

nasi impit comel

Gua suka makan nasi impit. I mean, sangat suka. Suka meratah. Lagi-lagi yang comel bentuknya tu. Geram tengok. Terus sambar, makan! Tak suka potong, tak ada feel. Kupas plastik dia saja terus makan, barulah feel. Macam ni..

Sila jangan kata gua pelik.

Makan pun kena feel. Ye idok? Kehkehkeh

pekan frinjan 14

Pergi seorang.

Balik seorang.

Dapat dua buku. Hee :)